I can't even begin to write this, but I will finish in memory of one true friend - Aaron Kok Jun Fa.
I am really sorry that I am such a lousy friend, I hate myself, pls forgive me.
Aaron, you were such a bright kid in class, but you never had airs. The humble, easy-going, even reserved you was bullied by me, targeted you in a silly childish game. You knew I was just playful.
It was years later when I thought of you, not only to meet up, but also to seek accommodation in Manchester. I feel despicable, I am sorry Aaron. I am sorry that I caused you so much troubles, brought so many strangers, and you had to cook us dinner and breakfast. I am thankful that after so many year, you still treated me like a brother and never winked to receive and send us off. I am sorry that all I could give you was a postcard of gratitude after so much. I am sorry we promised to meet back in Singapore but we haven't until now. I suck. Why am I such a selfish bastard.
I am such a lousy friend. All the multiply invites you sent me, I never accepted. All the while you were on MSN, I did not say hi. All these time you were missing, I don't even know. Just how bad am I as a friend?
I know nothing, NOTHING until Shihao called me today. I feel ashamed of myself really. It is hurting me so much that I can only talk about you in the past, in a past when I did not treasure you, my friend. Pls TAKE CARE wherever you may be now.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
About Life, Material and Singapore
Our FYP group had a drink yst night at Villa Bali. It was a different setting to meet, especially with Prof Lee and unusual topics emerged, the most fiery one about LIFE.
Married with to an Austrian, schooled in England, Prof Lee is almost un-Singaporean in her approach to life. In starking contrast to Singaporeans' pursuit of material comfort, she professed a life revolving about personal satisfaction, care for family, time for social interactions, quality of time, and perhaps in a nutshell - FREEDOM.
So entrenched she is in her beliefs, she is ready to give up her social status, her luxuries, her job in exchange for a fulfilling family life, to care about people around as long as she has any job (McDonald's, road sweeper, whichever) that pays enough for her survival needs.
Idealistic.
Our discussion was open, honest and bitterly at odds.
I wasn't born with a silver spoon, not even middle-class comfort. Life is tough, as I used to watch my parents toiled nights away serving up hawker fares. Income was decent, but hardly affluent. There were things I wanted but never asked for, because I know it wouldn't help our cause, except maybe fulfill a little self-gratification with a playstation or gameboy. I didn't own one.
I learn to find my own ways around. $200 a month at Chinese High was paid for by a MOE award, my tertiary education is now sponsored by SAF, and the French exchange I went last year was fully funded by DUO and my study award. I haven't taken a cent from my parents since enlistment.
Going back to a bigger picture, all the good things that I enjoyed are associated with a dollar value, as much as one dislikes such connotations. The meritocratic Singaporean society is at the same time highly material-driven. The ability to succeed bears a high correlation with the amount of resources one has, very unfortunately.
Prof Lee asked, "Do you mind working as road sweeper, work 8 - 5 and enjoy quality time with your family?"
Of course I mind.
I have a bigger purpose in life. And how much quality time can a road sweeper enjoy with his family, if he has to worry about his utilities bill next month, going thru his accounts to squeeze extra money for his kids' tuitions, swimming classes and other curricular activities like piano and violin, if I even dare say. It's about PROVIDING for the family.
Mind you, I am not talking about the 5C's. This is about giving your loved ones the freedom to pursue and develop their interests without reservations and monetary concerns. Do I wish I know how to play the piano? Yes, I do. But I have no qualms because I know a piano meant half a year's expenses, plus taking up valuable space in my already cramped HDB apartment == $.
I hate to be this materialistic actually. But the Singaporean society has schooled us to be so. Moulding our people in another way other than who we are now may mean that we may possibly still be languishing in economic backwaters with our developing neighbours. Linking the value of life to money is probably the only way Singaporeans know how to live, and it is SAD.
I am in total agreement with Prof Lee regarding the importance of quality personal time, and living the value of life in exploring your interests. But all these to be achieved with a disregard to pragmatic responsibilities and circumstances - to take a leave when workload are sky high, to be at home for dinner in place of an important meeting...
In a certain way, I suspect Prof Lee never had it tough all life. These talks of freedom are made atop from her ivory towers of a doctorate in hand, a landed property home, a foreign hubby, a reasonable passbook and the ability to pay a car in full, among others. Meanwhile, try asking any McDonald auntie or roadsweeper uncle if they want to remain that way until the day their coffins are nailed.
I do agree with her.
Life is not about materialism. We should live our life with passion, doing the things we like, enjoying it to the fullest and without regrets. In fact she is right, the chase for material wealth and the ability to lead a meaningful life will contradict at some point in time.
But you see, everything in this society, maybe lesser so in welfare societies, is marked with a price tag. We all have to attain that level of living before we can start all the talks about dreams and passion.
The problem of materialism in Singapore is social-bound, is cultural-bound, and it is definitely not because Singaporean guys are childish. This is one point I must refute when Prof Lee commented on why her local relationships did not work out. True, many don't enjoy the finer points in life - the classicals, the operas, the dives, the skis, even the picnics, the suntans, the strolls in the parks. But honestly, what about the Singaporean ladies?
It is a Singaporean dilemma in essence.
The discussion is thought-provoking, meaningful, and makes me sit back and think about what life I want. I haven't changed one bit though, because I appreciate the things Prof Lee appreciate in life as well, though the approaches are different. Let's leave it that way with mutual respect for each other's beliefs and agree to disagree.
Married with to an Austrian, schooled in England, Prof Lee is almost un-Singaporean in her approach to life. In starking contrast to Singaporeans' pursuit of material comfort, she professed a life revolving about personal satisfaction, care for family, time for social interactions, quality of time, and perhaps in a nutshell - FREEDOM.
So entrenched she is in her beliefs, she is ready to give up her social status, her luxuries, her job in exchange for a fulfilling family life, to care about people around as long as she has any job (McDonald's, road sweeper, whichever) that pays enough for her survival needs.
Idealistic.
Our discussion was open, honest and bitterly at odds.
I wasn't born with a silver spoon, not even middle-class comfort. Life is tough, as I used to watch my parents toiled nights away serving up hawker fares. Income was decent, but hardly affluent. There were things I wanted but never asked for, because I know it wouldn't help our cause, except maybe fulfill a little self-gratification with a playstation or gameboy. I didn't own one.
I learn to find my own ways around. $200 a month at Chinese High was paid for by a MOE award, my tertiary education is now sponsored by SAF, and the French exchange I went last year was fully funded by DUO and my study award. I haven't taken a cent from my parents since enlistment.
Going back to a bigger picture, all the good things that I enjoyed are associated with a dollar value, as much as one dislikes such connotations. The meritocratic Singaporean society is at the same time highly material-driven. The ability to succeed bears a high correlation with the amount of resources one has, very unfortunately.
Prof Lee asked, "Do you mind working as road sweeper, work 8 - 5 and enjoy quality time with your family?"
Of course I mind.
I have a bigger purpose in life. And how much quality time can a road sweeper enjoy with his family, if he has to worry about his utilities bill next month, going thru his accounts to squeeze extra money for his kids' tuitions, swimming classes and other curricular activities like piano and violin, if I even dare say. It's about PROVIDING for the family.
Mind you, I am not talking about the 5C's. This is about giving your loved ones the freedom to pursue and develop their interests without reservations and monetary concerns. Do I wish I know how to play the piano? Yes, I do. But I have no qualms because I know a piano meant half a year's expenses, plus taking up valuable space in my already cramped HDB apartment == $.
I hate to be this materialistic actually. But the Singaporean society has schooled us to be so. Moulding our people in another way other than who we are now may mean that we may possibly still be languishing in economic backwaters with our developing neighbours. Linking the value of life to money is probably the only way Singaporeans know how to live, and it is SAD.
I am in total agreement with Prof Lee regarding the importance of quality personal time, and living the value of life in exploring your interests. But all these to be achieved with a disregard to pragmatic responsibilities and circumstances - to take a leave when workload are sky high, to be at home for dinner in place of an important meeting...
In a certain way, I suspect Prof Lee never had it tough all life. These talks of freedom are made atop from her ivory towers of a doctorate in hand, a landed property home, a foreign hubby, a reasonable passbook and the ability to pay a car in full, among others. Meanwhile, try asking any McDonald auntie or roadsweeper uncle if they want to remain that way until the day their coffins are nailed.
I do agree with her.
Life is not about materialism. We should live our life with passion, doing the things we like, enjoying it to the fullest and without regrets. In fact she is right, the chase for material wealth and the ability to lead a meaningful life will contradict at some point in time.
But you see, everything in this society, maybe lesser so in welfare societies, is marked with a price tag. We all have to attain that level of living before we can start all the talks about dreams and passion.
The problem of materialism in Singapore is social-bound, is cultural-bound, and it is definitely not because Singaporean guys are childish. This is one point I must refute when Prof Lee commented on why her local relationships did not work out. True, many don't enjoy the finer points in life - the classicals, the operas, the dives, the skis, even the picnics, the suntans, the strolls in the parks. But honestly, what about the Singaporean ladies?
It is a Singaporean dilemma in essence.
The discussion is thought-provoking, meaningful, and makes me sit back and think about what life I want. I haven't changed one bit though, because I appreciate the things Prof Lee appreciate in life as well, though the approaches are different. Let's leave it that way with mutual respect for each other's beliefs and agree to disagree.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Last Semester!!
Yeah I am back! Last semester, so fast! Feeling excited and raring to go again! (I'm so sure I will be cursing come April when exams come around)
Not allocated the GEs I placed on the waitlist, even though there are still plenty of vacancies for German I and Basic Media Writing. I guessed I will just stick to the easier LG80 this sem, after all should be a good revision to strengthen my German basics.
Had a small episode at the undergrad office when I was submitting my appeal form to overload GE. The lady claimed I have to submit the "subjects registered" in STARS, while I printed out my timetable from STARS planner. On the form, it asked for confirmed timetable. Anyway I refused to budge because iHub and CITS are damn crowded and it will take another 15 mins to find a terminal, send print job, release and go back to re-submit. She took it after lotsa grouses, but I don't really care.
Anyway, this appeal for overload of GEs is a complete waste of time and resources. More paperwork for the students and staff alike, what for? By all means give those who haven't finished their GE requirements the priority when balloting, but for god's sake just let people like me who got nothing better to do to add/drop GEs with remaining vacancies after all the others got theirs on waitlist.
Sometimes I wonder why. NTU - Global University of Excellence, third class administration who looks for trouble themselves.
Not allocated the GEs I placed on the waitlist, even though there are still plenty of vacancies for German I and Basic Media Writing. I guessed I will just stick to the easier LG80 this sem, after all should be a good revision to strengthen my German basics.
Had a small episode at the undergrad office when I was submitting my appeal form to overload GE. The lady claimed I have to submit the "subjects registered" in STARS, while I printed out my timetable from STARS planner. On the form, it asked for confirmed timetable. Anyway I refused to budge because iHub and CITS are damn crowded and it will take another 15 mins to find a terminal, send print job, release and go back to re-submit. She took it after lotsa grouses, but I don't really care.
Anyway, this appeal for overload of GEs is a complete waste of time and resources. More paperwork for the students and staff alike, what for? By all means give those who haven't finished their GE requirements the priority when balloting, but for god's sake just let people like me who got nothing better to do to add/drop GEs with remaining vacancies after all the others got theirs on waitlist.
Sometimes I wonder why. NTU - Global University of Excellence, third class administration who looks for trouble themselves.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
My previous life...
You could have been a famous Political FigureWhether you were ruling the Roman Empire or shaking up the 18th century, you're sure to be making waves in any era you're in. Driven and focused, you want to make a difference and help people. If it gets you into the history books, even better!
Ambitious and motivated, you've got your eye on the prize and aren't afraid to go after what you want. You'd love to shake things up and make waves in the world. A little fame thrown in there wouldn't hurt either. So, keep chasing your goals. You're sure to go far in this life — and the next ones!
Who Were You in a Past Life?
Brought to you by Tickle
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Tu as un petit jardin pour moi?
Je t'ai jamais considerée,
Jamais une fleur pour toi.
Comme un aveugle en te passant,
C'est vachement fou c'est moi.
Si chaque fois tu les considères,
Peu à peu, un jardin se révèle.
J'ai simplement besoin de petit espace,
Pour une fois on s'embrassera.
C'est un poème à toi j'ecris,
A toi je sincèrement donne.
Une langue si romantique je venais d'apprendre,
L'amour si pur caché maintenant.
J'ai aucune idée comment te dire,
J'espère que la même chose on se sent.
Tout ce que je demande de toi c'est ça,
Un petit jardin pour moi.
Jamais une fleur pour toi.
Comme un aveugle en te passant,
C'est vachement fou c'est moi.
Si chaque fois tu les considères,
Peu à peu, un jardin se révèle.
J'ai simplement besoin de petit espace,
Pour une fois on s'embrassera.
C'est un poème à toi j'ecris,
A toi je sincèrement donne.
Une langue si romantique je venais d'apprendre,
L'amour si pur caché maintenant.
J'ai aucune idée comment te dire,
J'espère que la même chose on se sent.
Tout ce que je demande de toi c'est ça,
Un petit jardin pour moi.
Act cute
At John's place for new yr celebration when Andrew and I decided to tie up our hair. Looks pretty cute... Lol
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Crap
I am looking, I think.
Been talking a lot of crap with Jasman, my fyp mate, about all these girls and relationships issues. Not that they are anything serious, but two single males like us tend to allow our conversations online to veer innocuously to such topics. Talked to Zhihao and Jinhui over our last jc class gathering too, and they all can't seem to agree with me.
Haha, tell me if I'm weird.
I have been professing my reluctance to woo girls to people around me. Reason being - I hate to allow a relationship to commence on the wrong footing that I am the one who wants her and thus rendering myself vulnerable. Or maybe itz pride, I may not be able to take a rejection well. Lol.
Can't a couple come together naturally after developing a mutual affinity? Why all these crap about courtship? Haha my guy frenz think either I am nuts or I am too idealistic. They claim the privilege of going after girls means one has the choice of partners, while girls usually only are able to give hints subtly and may not end up with the guy they like. Oh well...
***
I am actually more open to knowing people now. Just the other day, a girl who went on instep to France offered to intro her lab mate to me. I would have ran away in the past, I swear. But somehow this time, I am actually looking forward to it. Haha am I despo?
Maybe I regret going to a boys' school, not knowing enough girls in nj and hall. My circle of girls seems pretty limited. The number of girls I can consider friends is less than the number of fingers I have. Nobody believes me, but I am shy. Hehe.
***
Since the last heartbreak, I kept myself busy enough and my heart closed enough to ward off puppy love and kind. I am actually quite tired of going into relationships that are uncertain. Itz that stupid time of the life when you want to experiment but ever so want to have a feeling of certainty. Otherwise I call it a waste of time, money and energy.
I hate the feeling of resentment at the end of a relationship, as if I haven't done enough or that all I've done are not appreciated. I hate the end so much that smtimes I don't wanna start.
I'm sorry to her because I was not ready then and I couldn't explain it. I just had to let things die out. Someone asked me if I regretted it, maybe, maybe not. The time just wasn't right.
***
Okie actually this is pretty disjointed, just some points from my conversations with a few frenz over the past weeks. Haha, thanks for reading this crap. Wish me luck to find Ms Right.
Been talking a lot of crap with Jasman, my fyp mate, about all these girls and relationships issues. Not that they are anything serious, but two single males like us tend to allow our conversations online to veer innocuously to such topics. Talked to Zhihao and Jinhui over our last jc class gathering too, and they all can't seem to agree with me.
Haha, tell me if I'm weird.
I have been professing my reluctance to woo girls to people around me. Reason being - I hate to allow a relationship to commence on the wrong footing that I am the one who wants her and thus rendering myself vulnerable. Or maybe itz pride, I may not be able to take a rejection well. Lol.
Can't a couple come together naturally after developing a mutual affinity? Why all these crap about courtship? Haha my guy frenz think either I am nuts or I am too idealistic. They claim the privilege of going after girls means one has the choice of partners, while girls usually only are able to give hints subtly and may not end up with the guy they like. Oh well...
***
I am actually more open to knowing people now. Just the other day, a girl who went on instep to France offered to intro her lab mate to me. I would have ran away in the past, I swear. But somehow this time, I am actually looking forward to it. Haha am I despo?
Maybe I regret going to a boys' school, not knowing enough girls in nj and hall. My circle of girls seems pretty limited. The number of girls I can consider friends is less than the number of fingers I have. Nobody believes me, but I am shy. Hehe.
***
Since the last heartbreak, I kept myself busy enough and my heart closed enough to ward off puppy love and kind. I am actually quite tired of going into relationships that are uncertain. Itz that stupid time of the life when you want to experiment but ever so want to have a feeling of certainty. Otherwise I call it a waste of time, money and energy.
I hate the feeling of resentment at the end of a relationship, as if I haven't done enough or that all I've done are not appreciated. I hate the end so much that smtimes I don't wanna start.
I'm sorry to her because I was not ready then and I couldn't explain it. I just had to let things die out. Someone asked me if I regretted it, maybe, maybe not. The time just wasn't right.
***
Okie actually this is pretty disjointed, just some points from my conversations with a few frenz over the past weeks. Haha, thanks for reading this crap. Wish me luck to find Ms Right.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Another New Year Resolutions
I wish for
Bonne année à tous!
- First class honours in EEE
- Someone special
- A great grad trip to Taiwan or Korea
- Perform well for ALOC
- Healthy bank balance come 2008
- Pink of health for my family and loved ones
- STRIKE TOTO
Bonne année à tous!
Friday, December 29, 2006
I deserve that wee bit more... Really
Exams results are finally out, and it reads:
EE3014 A
EE4001 B+
EE4041 A+
EE4105 B+
EE4153 B+
EE4188 A+
CS118 A-
HP804 B
I am rather satisfied, especially with HRM. It was a big surprise to score so well. And it is the first time in NTU that I have smelled A+ (issit the equivalent of the old DI?) But failure to score well for software engineering and telecomm are big disappointments. Sighz, I think I rushed my software paper too much to rush back to study for DSP later that day.
Calculated a GPA with these grades, even though we are not under this system = 4.53 for core and prescribed electives. Barely first class, but I had hoped for better grades to make up for my screwed up yr 1 and 2. Praying hard that I still have a shot at the top honours.
And I failed my IPPT again this morning. A major disappointment, and how unfit I have become. Ran 12:23 for 2.4km, and a mere 4 seconds that will spare me a ROVW (record of verbal warning) for this work year. I suck! I regret that 4s when I gave myself some slack.
I really deserve that teeny weeny bit more... =|
EE3014 A
EE4001 B+
EE4041 A+
EE4105 B+
EE4153 B+
EE4188 A+
CS118 A-
HP804 B
I am rather satisfied, especially with HRM. It was a big surprise to score so well. And it is the first time in NTU that I have smelled A+ (issit the equivalent of the old DI?) But failure to score well for software engineering and telecomm are big disappointments. Sighz, I think I rushed my software paper too much to rush back to study for DSP later that day.
Calculated a GPA with these grades, even though we are not under this system = 4.53 for core and prescribed electives. Barely first class, but I had hoped for better grades to make up for my screwed up yr 1 and 2. Praying hard that I still have a shot at the top honours.
And I failed my IPPT again this morning. A major disappointment, and how unfit I have become. Ran 12:23 for 2.4km, and a mere 4 seconds that will spare me a ROVW (record of verbal warning) for this work year. I suck! I regret that 4s when I gave myself some slack.
I really deserve that teeny weeny bit more... =|
Friday, December 22, 2006
My desktop CUI
I hate it, my desktop is spoilt!
Just when I thought that everything is set up swee swee with maxonline at home, the desktop CUI, WTF!
It all began with FM07! Installed Daemon tools to mount the image file, then my dvd-rw drive becomes undectectable. Then, I thought all could be solved by reformatting the computer. But the keyboard becomes undetectable when I boot up from the recovery disk. Damn it.
Frustrated, I opened up the CPU casing and played ard to make sure the keyboard connection is in, then the worst came, the screen shows no output and I hear funny beeps as I power on and off the computer in vain. Wah lan I am damn sian!
Luckily got the lorry with me at home, and I drove back to hall to get my old trusty P3 laptop so that I can blog now to tell you this super unfortunate shit that happened to me. I think yesterday is just a bad day, my watch stopped working too, maybe a lack of battery, maybe something worse, but heck!
Now I just wish my new compaq laptop can come quickly and trouble free!
Just when I thought that everything is set up swee swee with maxonline at home, the desktop CUI, WTF!
It all began with FM07! Installed Daemon tools to mount the image file, then my dvd-rw drive becomes undectectable. Then, I thought all could be solved by reformatting the computer. But the keyboard becomes undetectable when I boot up from the recovery disk. Damn it.
Frustrated, I opened up the CPU casing and played ard to make sure the keyboard connection is in, then the worst came, the screen shows no output and I hear funny beeps as I power on and off the computer in vain. Wah lan I am damn sian!
Luckily got the lorry with me at home, and I drove back to hall to get my old trusty P3 laptop so that I can blog now to tell you this super unfortunate shit that happened to me. I think yesterday is just a bad day, my watch stopped working too, maybe a lack of battery, maybe something worse, but heck!
Now I just wish my new compaq laptop can come quickly and trouble free!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Finally, trials over!
No more Tekong anymore, not for a long long time to come! Really tiring, packed up all the equipment today and drove back to school, terrible to drive at peak hours, jams and unruly drivers who don't give way to my 20" lorry, you are lucky limbei not in a bad mood.
Anyway, scratched one guy's side mirrors as I was parking the lorry at S1. And that guy happened to come down to catch us red-handed. Luckily we told him we were students and he did not make a big fuss outta it. It was juz a very small scratch anyway.
Anyway, the biggest change I made during this 1.5 wks in Tekong is that I am smoking again. LOL bad for health, but had this super itch to smoke when we went out to drink last wkend, and my 20-stick Malboro menthol is still unfinished, left a few sticks now.
Okay, that's not very important actually. Now, lotsa data to process, but I hope the MIMO pple can take over. I really not interested to help them process their data, not after working like male slaves in Tekong, load, unload equipment, sit behind the lorry for sauna, and what not. Talk about gender equality... Haha im juz whining
Anyway, scratched one guy's side mirrors as I was parking the lorry at S1. And that guy happened to come down to catch us red-handed. Luckily we told him we were students and he did not make a big fuss outta it. It was juz a very small scratch anyway.
Anyway, the biggest change I made during this 1.5 wks in Tekong is that I am smoking again. LOL bad for health, but had this super itch to smoke when we went out to drink last wkend, and my 20-stick Malboro menthol is still unfinished, left a few sticks now.
Okay, that's not very important actually. Now, lotsa data to process, but I hope the MIMO pple can take over. I really not interested to help them process their data, not after working like male slaves in Tekong, load, unload equipment, sit behind the lorry for sauna, and what not. Talk about gender equality... Haha im juz whining
Sunday, December 17, 2006
DBLDm
The Mixed Messenger
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer
Just...take...the...fucking...flower...darling. The Mixed Messenger apologizes again.
You're looking for love, but you'll always maintain your independence. You're prepared for a real commitment, but it's also likely that you're ambitious, which creates a certain romantic tension and ambivalence within you. So although you can be very affectionate to someone, you are also capable of pulling some dubious shit.
In a relationship, you're usually the emotional leader. With your friends, you're a little bit more part of the pack. You're well-liked but you're not the uninhibited type, so the spotlight's often on someone else. In both social and romantic situations, however, you almost always get what you want. Influencing people is something you do very well.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Playstation, The Peach
CONSIDER: The Priss
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Tekong revisited
I am back in Pulau Tekong, nope not for BMT but to conduct experiments for our FYP.
Pretty mundane life, everyday wake up at 5plus, take a cab to SFT, take the Penguin fast craft in, do expts, pack up at 5 in the evenings, then take a cab back home.
Actually, life this week hasn't exactly been a breeze. It rained almost everyday in Tekong, and on my side I have to load and unload the equipment each time we switch positions to log our data. Nothing very mentally challenging, more physically tiring.
Kinda bored with this FYP. For the MIMO group, their data collection would be over after these 2 weeks, but my air to land will have another trial either in Jan or Feb. *shrugz*
Tekong does evoke some nice memories. In fact, I enjoyed my BMT in Tekong, made some nice buddies (whom I have already lost contact with) and we went thru all those shit together. And re-entering Tekong this time as a civilian, I did accomplished some insignificant "firsts":
1. Don't have to march around like a chao recruit
2. Eat fried chicken, fried beehoon etc in the Tekong jungle
3. Talk to the RSM on equal footing, lol
4. Wore a singlet and walked around at the BMTC HQ
5. Washed my boots in the parade sq toilets (sry to the company doing area cleaning there! =p)
In fact, sometimes things get so boring that I went for some runs in my pants and boots around our experiment sites. Need to get some running fitness for my IPPT on the 29th Dec! OMG...
Pretty mundane life, everyday wake up at 5plus, take a cab to SFT, take the Penguin fast craft in, do expts, pack up at 5 in the evenings, then take a cab back home.
Actually, life this week hasn't exactly been a breeze. It rained almost everyday in Tekong, and on my side I have to load and unload the equipment each time we switch positions to log our data. Nothing very mentally challenging, more physically tiring.
Kinda bored with this FYP. For the MIMO group, their data collection would be over after these 2 weeks, but my air to land will have another trial either in Jan or Feb. *shrugz*
Tekong does evoke some nice memories. In fact, I enjoyed my BMT in Tekong, made some nice buddies (whom I have already lost contact with) and we went thru all those shit together. And re-entering Tekong this time as a civilian, I did accomplished some insignificant "firsts":
1. Don't have to march around like a chao recruit
2. Eat fried chicken, fried beehoon etc in the Tekong jungle
3. Talk to the RSM on equal footing, lol
4. Wore a singlet and walked around at the BMTC HQ
5. Washed my boots in the parade sq toilets (sry to the company doing area cleaning there! =p)
In fact, sometimes things get so boring that I went for some runs in my pants and boots around our experiment sites. Need to get some running fitness for my IPPT on the 29th Dec! OMG...
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Mission 3: Marathon Completed
Hehe, but in a very bad timing this year, walked alot of the journey with my partner. Completed nonetheless, I shall aim for 5hrs next yr!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Mission 2: Finish Exams, Completed
IT'S OVER!
At least for this sem! A hectic schedule of 8 papers spanning 12 days that took me to every other exam hall in NTU has been completed!
Confident: Software Engineering, Wireless Communications, Human Resource Management, Multiculturalism and Communication
50-50: Telecommunication Systems, Digital Signal Processing
Sucks: Cellular Communication and System Design, Coping with Culture Transition
In any case, a result slip for this sem without 'C' will be good.
And the planning for next semester has begun:
HW310: Professional Communication
EE4110: Optical Communication System Design
EE4152: Digital Communications
EE4839: Fibre Optic Communication
LG81: German Level II
Surprise, surprise, I am going to try and pick up my bits and pieces of German that I learnt in sec1 at MOELC. If successful, I should be able to join the level II class for next semester!
Actually, after planning the timetable for next sem, it looks really empty and I am looking to take another GE, probably something that is really interesting. Found one - The Mind of Sun Tzu, but it is offered by MAE and I am quite sceptical if mech engineering profs can teach a topic like this. But for now, it looks the most promising.
So, if all goes well, I should be graduating with 175 AUs, much more than the 151 AUs required for my BEng. Hehe! 33 AUs (in fact 36, cos I crashed my French II) of unrestricted GEs + 12 AUs of restricted GEs = a whopping 55 AUs unrelated to engineering in any sense! No wonder I don't feel like an engineer.
Definitely getting the best value out of my university fees by taking more courses to enrich myself. And I almost always enjoy taking modules outside EEE, exploring different dimensions of interests.
So fast, the penultimate sem is over, FYP re-begins, and one more sem to go before going back to RSAF. And guess what, my pro-term ALOC course is going to be stay-in at air force school. Restricted freedom. -.-" Kinda dread it, but the $$ will come in useful.
Now for mission 3: MARATHON this sunday!
At least for this sem! A hectic schedule of 8 papers spanning 12 days that took me to every other exam hall in NTU has been completed!
Confident: Software Engineering, Wireless Communications, Human Resource Management, Multiculturalism and Communication
50-50: Telecommunication Systems, Digital Signal Processing
Sucks: Cellular Communication and System Design, Coping with Culture Transition
In any case, a result slip for this sem without 'C' will be good.
And the planning for next semester has begun:
HW310: Professional Communication
EE4110: Optical Communication System Design
EE4152: Digital Communications
EE4839: Fibre Optic Communication
LG81: German Level II
Surprise, surprise, I am going to try and pick up my bits and pieces of German that I learnt in sec1 at MOELC. If successful, I should be able to join the level II class for next semester!
Actually, after planning the timetable for next sem, it looks really empty and I am looking to take another GE, probably something that is really interesting. Found one - The Mind of Sun Tzu, but it is offered by MAE and I am quite sceptical if mech engineering profs can teach a topic like this. But for now, it looks the most promising.
So, if all goes well, I should be graduating with 175 AUs, much more than the 151 AUs required for my BEng. Hehe! 33 AUs (in fact 36, cos I crashed my French II) of unrestricted GEs + 12 AUs of restricted GEs = a whopping 55 AUs unrelated to engineering in any sense! No wonder I don't feel like an engineer.
Definitely getting the best value out of my university fees by taking more courses to enrich myself. And I almost always enjoy taking modules outside EEE, exploring different dimensions of interests.
So fast, the penultimate sem is over, FYP re-begins, and one more sem to go before going back to RSAF. And guess what, my pro-term ALOC course is going to be stay-in at air force school. Restricted freedom. -.-" Kinda dread it, but the $$ will come in useful.
Now for mission 3: MARATHON this sunday!
Friday, November 24, 2006
Which Tarot Card?
You are The Devil
Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession
The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.
Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
US is the biggest evil of them all
Taking a break from studying, I surfed asiaone.com and one of the headlines read "China warns US to forgo arms sales to Taiwan". US, US, US. They are poking their noses into everything and anything, and if there is really a so-called axis of evil, the US must the biggest of them all!
Taiwan straits
The world wants peace at the Taiwan straits, for the greater stability and sustained economic growth in East Asia. Personally, I don't take sides with either, but any US$16 billion arms sales to Taiwan is almost certain to increase cross straits tension and spark a possible arms race. I seriously think the US has a split personality, split diplomatic stands. Support one China, tries to sell arms to Taiwan for $$, bounded by law to defend Taiwan in any conflict.
Middle East
Thanks to US, the whole middle east is in a mess now. Aghanistan is a forgotten war-torn land, with capture of Osama bin Laden nowhere in the foreseeble future. Iraq is a land of violence and disunity, between the Shi'ites and Sunnis, and US is suffering casualties by the day, good luck and so much for unilateral action to go into Iraq for WMD only to find nothing. How about US being uncritical about Israel's disproportionate strike of Lebanon to save a few captured soldiers? I read on news that the Israelis actually used a new biological weapons against the Lebaneses and no action has been taken them at all. And the constant violation of no-fly zone now that UN forces are in Lebanon, I think they are so disregarding the international community in no small part due to Big Brother's support.
Nuclear non-proliferation
So much for taking Iran and North Korea to task for their quest for nuclear weapons. Read from Today, that signatories of nuclear non-proliferation act are supposed to cut down on their arsenal of nuclear weapons, eventually eliminating nuclear weapons. But obviously they aren't fulfilling their part of the deal. I don't support N.Korea and Iran to possess nuclear weapons, but the point is, if the nuclear powers aren't cutting their own nuclear weapons, they have no moral high ground to point fingers!
Kyoto Treaty
Uh huh! Who's the world's biggest producer of greenhouse gases? US! And guess who pulled out of the Kyoto Treaty? (No prizes, though) And for reasons that ratifying the treaty and keeping to emission requirements will affect US's economy and jobs. Bravo!
Free Trade
My foot. You really believe in US's call for free trade? They are pointing fingers at developing countries for stealing manufacturing jobs, making US workers lose their competivity. Yet, they go around negotiating so-called free trade agreements with no regard for their locals (See Korean rice farmers) How about the erection of taxes against China goods to address their trade imbalance? Oh pls, even idiots know that trade imbalance is inevitable. Revalueing the Yuan isn't going to solve the problem. It is a fundamental problem of high demands for cheaper goods by the US itself.
********************
Just in a US-bashing mood.
Taiwan straits
The world wants peace at the Taiwan straits, for the greater stability and sustained economic growth in East Asia. Personally, I don't take sides with either, but any US$16 billion arms sales to Taiwan is almost certain to increase cross straits tension and spark a possible arms race. I seriously think the US has a split personality, split diplomatic stands. Support one China, tries to sell arms to Taiwan for $$, bounded by law to defend Taiwan in any conflict.
Middle East
Thanks to US, the whole middle east is in a mess now. Aghanistan is a forgotten war-torn land, with capture of Osama bin Laden nowhere in the foreseeble future. Iraq is a land of violence and disunity, between the Shi'ites and Sunnis, and US is suffering casualties by the day, good luck and so much for unilateral action to go into Iraq for WMD only to find nothing. How about US being uncritical about Israel's disproportionate strike of Lebanon to save a few captured soldiers? I read on news that the Israelis actually used a new biological weapons against the Lebaneses and no action has been taken them at all. And the constant violation of no-fly zone now that UN forces are in Lebanon, I think they are so disregarding the international community in no small part due to Big Brother's support.
Nuclear non-proliferation
So much for taking Iran and North Korea to task for their quest for nuclear weapons. Read from Today, that signatories of nuclear non-proliferation act are supposed to cut down on their arsenal of nuclear weapons, eventually eliminating nuclear weapons. But obviously they aren't fulfilling their part of the deal. I don't support N.Korea and Iran to possess nuclear weapons, but the point is, if the nuclear powers aren't cutting their own nuclear weapons, they have no moral high ground to point fingers!
Kyoto Treaty
Uh huh! Who's the world's biggest producer of greenhouse gases? US! And guess who pulled out of the Kyoto Treaty? (No prizes, though) And for reasons that ratifying the treaty and keeping to emission requirements will affect US's economy and jobs. Bravo!
Free Trade
My foot. You really believe in US's call for free trade? They are pointing fingers at developing countries for stealing manufacturing jobs, making US workers lose their competivity. Yet, they go around negotiating so-called free trade agreements with no regard for their locals (See Korean rice farmers) How about the erection of taxes against China goods to address their trade imbalance? Oh pls, even idiots know that trade imbalance is inevitable. Revalueing the Yuan isn't going to solve the problem. It is a fundamental problem of high demands for cheaper goods by the US itself.
********************
Just in a US-bashing mood.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Mission 1: HRM completed
Hooray! Three cheers to Lester, Johnson, Kenny, Ye Wai and Zoebir! Our group fought the HRM battle and emerged unscathed cos Michael Heng accepted our report on presentation day! *ROAR* This gotta be one of the happiest day this sem, after going thru all the BOS and burning so many friday evenings in at the study benches at nanyang audit!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Still alive, barely
The frequency that I blog indicates the amount of free time I have.
It means that I've been working like a dog since the last post. =
Good news first: My FYP prof is going to give us a break from all the time-consuming experiments until after the exams.
Bad news: The exams loom. And before that, need to submit the BOS report for HRM.
Talking about our BOS with canteen 2, our group had a complete change of ideas after yesterday's discussion. I haven't changed my opinion though. In any case, their new "divergence" looks very uncompelling and I am not inspired, not at all. I think there goes any hopes of getting an A for HRM.
I wished I was more energetic yesterday, because I will be able to persuade them not to change our BOS concept. But I was just lethargic and really in a bochup mode. I think I will regret this decision come presentation day for our BOS report.
Haiz, I am really tired. Sometimes I am so busy, work so hard but the output and the input just don't look proportional.
Take monday for example, we were doing this fyp expt from morning 9.30 to 3pm in the afternoon. In actual fact, we finished taking all the measurements required in 15 mins. But due to poor planning, no contingency plans, lack of leadership, disorganisation, blah blah blah, wasted so much time away. Busy for nothing, really. Ditto for HRM discussions. (I drafted my part of the report due to our previously-agreed idea before they decide to abort!! WTH)
Haven't met up with the njcanoeists for very long! Having a bbq dinner this friday at marina south, but I can't even confirm if I will be able to make it. Life sux.
Oh yah, add the haze problem, wah kaoz it is really miserable. I can't even go for my weight-loss-relaxing-refreshening run at night for fear of bad air quality. Screw the haze!
Marathon is in less than 2 months time, but I don't feel ready. But Derrick is in worse shape than me. We met on Sunday to run at Macritchie, actually slow jog because he and I can't move beyond 2nd gear. (Actually itz him!!)
Stop FYP, finish HRM, clear exams, complete marathon.
It means that I've been working like a dog since the last post. =
Good news first: My FYP prof is going to give us a break from all the time-consuming experiments until after the exams.
Bad news: The exams loom. And before that, need to submit the BOS report for HRM.
Talking about our BOS with canteen 2, our group had a complete change of ideas after yesterday's discussion. I haven't changed my opinion though. In any case, their new "divergence" looks very uncompelling and I am not inspired, not at all. I think there goes any hopes of getting an A for HRM.
I wished I was more energetic yesterday, because I will be able to persuade them not to change our BOS concept. But I was just lethargic and really in a bochup mode. I think I will regret this decision come presentation day for our BOS report.
Haiz, I am really tired. Sometimes I am so busy, work so hard but the output and the input just don't look proportional.
Take monday for example, we were doing this fyp expt from morning 9.30 to 3pm in the afternoon. In actual fact, we finished taking all the measurements required in 15 mins. But due to poor planning, no contingency plans, lack of leadership, disorganisation, blah blah blah, wasted so much time away. Busy for nothing, really. Ditto for HRM discussions. (I drafted my part of the report due to our previously-agreed idea before they decide to abort!! WTH)
Haven't met up with the njcanoeists for very long! Having a bbq dinner this friday at marina south, but I can't even confirm if I will be able to make it. Life sux.
Oh yah, add the haze problem, wah kaoz it is really miserable. I can't even go for my weight-loss-relaxing-refreshening run at night for fear of bad air quality. Screw the haze!
Marathon is in less than 2 months time, but I don't feel ready. But Derrick is in worse shape than me. We met on Sunday to run at Macritchie, actually slow jog because he and I can't move beyond 2nd gear. (Actually itz him!!)
Stop FYP, finish HRM, clear exams, complete marathon.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
The Haze Solution
The haze is getting worse, with a PSI high of 150 today in Singapore.
Sitting around to complain isn't going to help things. After some thoughts, I think the best way to solve the question is through the establishment of a logging company!
Yah, we need a logging company to hack down those trees to clear the land for the Indonesian farmers. They aren't educated, and it will probably take too much efforts from the Indonesian govt to educate these bunch of farmers. C'mon, create a plan to log trees in Kalimantan, or wherever the farmers wanna clear lands. Give them no trees to burn, and plenty of land to farm! Supply them with fertilizers to replace the ashes.
And you know what, the logging company can actually sell the timber and exchange them for cold hard cash! Instead of all the smoke and haze which is deteoriating air quality all around south east asia and beyond!
I will happily lead a logging company to help these farmers and make some money. Any venture capitalist hear me?
Argh. This haze is irritating me!
Sitting around to complain isn't going to help things. After some thoughts, I think the best way to solve the question is through the establishment of a logging company!
Yah, we need a logging company to hack down those trees to clear the land for the Indonesian farmers. They aren't educated, and it will probably take too much efforts from the Indonesian govt to educate these bunch of farmers. C'mon, create a plan to log trees in Kalimantan, or wherever the farmers wanna clear lands. Give them no trees to burn, and plenty of land to farm! Supply them with fertilizers to replace the ashes.
And you know what, the logging company can actually sell the timber and exchange them for cold hard cash! Instead of all the smoke and haze which is deteoriating air quality all around south east asia and beyond!
I will happily lead a logging company to help these farmers and make some money. Any venture capitalist hear me?
Argh. This haze is irritating me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
