what's a topodium?

I think I owe it to people who know me to explain what exactly is a topodium.

topodium = topodium = topodium

Well, topodium is nothing but a word I coined which fuses top and podium, signifying a desire to attain the highest position on the podium, on the winners' stage. Pretty ambitious, but the biggest prize has always proven to be elusive.

I think I have a tendency to crack under pressure. My losing streak in sports started way back in primary school, when I just embarked on a career in track & field. From primary 4 up till primary 6, I was the perennial runner-up for boys shot put. Seriously, I no longer have any impression who beat me to the title, but it was this annual failure to win the school title that I was unable to represent my primary school during the Nationals.

Another memory that still rings clearly was how I helped my House to a silver in the 4 x 400m relay in primary 6. I was fast at primary 6, almost making it to the finals of the 100m. But 400m was a tad too much, but I was in the 400m relay team anyhow. It was nightmarish as I squandered a substantial lead during my leg and my House eventually settled for second. Oh, and did I mention that it happened before the eyes of my primary school crush as I huffed and puffed.

The silver streak continued into my secondary school life. I was with the school's basketball team for the C Division. I was hardly the star player, but our team breezed thru the zone preliminaries all the way to the West Zone final to face Jurong Sec, which was at that time the basketball kingpins. Quietly confident, we tried our best but still lost out narrowly to Jurong, finishing runners-up. The team went on to finish in the top-eight for the Nationals.

My flirt with track & field was not over yet though. Secondary 2 must be my most glorious year, I reckon. I was winning track & field meets like Swift and Flash leading up to the Nationals, but I underperformed during the final itself, hurling only far enough for a silver. At Sec 4, things got worse as I finished 6th at the B Div shot put.

When I went to JC, I realised my lack of height and size will be detrimental in my pursuit of a gold medal, and I decided to switch to canoeing. But little do I know that my power and explosiveness was never enough to compensate for my lack of endurance. If only there was a T1 250m race at my time. But my JC career finished in tears and heartbreak abundant.

Entering university, I continued to row my hearts out. But I was obviously distracted and the envisioned glorious finish to my canoeing career did not materialise. But at least I ended my career competing on a K1, something which meant more emotionally than anything else. Hmm, but I did get a silver at IVP level - a T2 500m mixed with Priscilla. It was an immaterial race anyway, because that result was not computed for the overall tallying of points for the IVP championships.

A sporting career littered with runners-up, silvers, and the golds did not come at the biggest occasions. Thatz why topodium is always a target that I'm aiming. Sure I have a few golds along the way - a talentime champion plaque, various shot put golds from club meets, jc and ntu, dragonboat champions medals abundant from my time at NJ and later with the alumni, but they will never make up for the disappointments I suffered at moments of truths.

Even now, I face the prospect of graduating with a second-upper class honours in 12 months time, getting a B+ for my recently concluded industrial attachment, and the many IPPT silvers.

Frankly, I hate to be second class, I hate to play second fiddle, I hate to be the next-best. Going topodium is the only way to go. Now, you know what's a TOPODIUM.