About Life, Material and Singapore

Our FYP group had a drink yst night at Villa Bali. It was a different setting to meet, especially with Prof Lee and unusual topics emerged, the most fiery one about LIFE.

Married with to an Austrian, schooled in England, Prof Lee is almost un-Singaporean in her approach to life. In starking contrast to Singaporeans' pursuit of material comfort, she professed a life revolving about personal satisfaction, care for family, time for social interactions, quality of time, and perhaps in a nutshell - FREEDOM.

So entrenched she is in her beliefs, she is ready to give up her social status, her luxuries, her job in exchange for a fulfilling family life, to care about people around as long as she has any job (McDonald's, road sweeper, whichever) that pays enough for her survival needs.

Idealistic.

Our discussion was open, honest and bitterly at odds.

I wasn't born with a silver spoon, not even middle-class comfort. Life is tough, as I used to watch my parents toiled nights away serving up hawker fares. Income was decent, but hardly affluent. There were things I wanted but never asked for, because I know it wouldn't help our cause, except maybe fulfill a little self-gratification with a playstation or gameboy. I didn't own one.

I learn to find my own ways around. $200 a month at Chinese High was paid for by a MOE award, my tertiary education is now sponsored by SAF, and the French exchange I went last year was fully funded by DUO and my study award. I haven't taken a cent from my parents since enlistment.

Going back to a bigger picture, all the good things that I enjoyed are associated with a dollar value, as much as one dislikes such connotations. The meritocratic Singaporean society is at the same time highly material-driven. The ability to succeed bears a high correlation with the amount of resources one has, very unfortunately.

Prof Lee asked, "Do you mind working as road sweeper, work 8 - 5 and enjoy quality time with your family?"

Of course I mind.

I have a bigger purpose in life. And how much quality time can a road sweeper enjoy with his family, if he has to worry about his utilities bill next month, going thru his accounts to squeeze extra money for his kids' tuitions, swimming classes and other curricular activities like piano and violin, if I even dare say. It's about PROVIDING for the family.

Mind you, I am not talking about the 5C's. This is about giving your loved ones the freedom to pursue and develop their interests without reservations and monetary concerns. Do I wish I know how to play the piano? Yes, I do. But I have no qualms because I know a piano meant half a year's expenses, plus taking up valuable space in my already cramped HDB apartment == $.

I hate to be this materialistic actually. But the Singaporean society has schooled us to be so. Moulding our people in another way other than who we are now may mean that we may possibly still be languishing in economic backwaters with our developing neighbours. Linking the value of life to money is probably the only way Singaporeans know how to live, and it is SAD.

I am in total agreement with Prof Lee regarding the importance of quality personal time, and living the value of life in exploring your interests. But all these to be achieved with a disregard to pragmatic responsibilities and circumstances - to take a leave when workload are sky high, to be at home for dinner in place of an important meeting...

In a certain way, I suspect Prof Lee never had it tough all life. These talks of freedom are made atop from her ivory towers of a doctorate in hand, a landed property home, a foreign hubby, a reasonable passbook and the ability to pay a car in full, among others. Meanwhile, try asking any McDonald auntie or roadsweeper uncle if they want to remain that way until the day their coffins are nailed.

I do agree with her.

Life is not about materialism. We should live our life with passion, doing the things we like, enjoying it to the fullest and without regrets. In fact she is right, the chase for material wealth and the ability to lead a meaningful life will contradict at some point in time.

But you see, everything in this society, maybe lesser so in welfare societies, is marked with a price tag. We all have to attain that level of living before we can start all the talks about dreams and passion.

The problem of materialism in Singapore is social-bound, is cultural-bound, and it is definitely not because Singaporean guys are childish. This is one point I must refute when Prof Lee commented on why her local relationships did not work out. True, many don't enjoy the finer points in life - the classicals, the operas, the dives, the skis, even the picnics, the suntans, the strolls in the parks. But honestly, what about the Singaporean ladies?

It is a Singaporean dilemma in essence.

The discussion is thought-provoking, meaningful, and makes me sit back and think about what life I want. I haven't changed one bit though, because I appreciate the things Prof Lee appreciate in life as well, though the approaches are different. Let's leave it that way with mutual respect for each other's beliefs and agree to disagree.